People-pleasing might not sound all that bad. Wanting too be nice to people and trying to help them out or make them happy isn't a bad thing, right?
But people-pleasing generally goes beyond kindness. It often involves altering one's words and behaviours for the sake of another person's feelings.
You might go out of your way to do things for the people in your life, based on what you assume they want or need. But then, you give up your precious time and energy to get them to like you.
The need to please others can damage ourselves and, potentially, our relationships when we let other people's wants have more importance than our own needs. So what are the signs?
Low opinion of yourself
You need others to like you
It's hard to say, 'No.'
You apologise and accept the blame when it's not your fault.
Authenticity is a battle.
Conflict upsets you
You have no free time
Now we know the signs, what are a few quick fixes that will create the biggest impact?
Show kindness when you genuinely mean it
Practice putting yourself first
Learn to set boundaries
Wait till you are asked for help.
And lastly, let's talk!
Chat to a Coach or someone who can support you, offer guidance, provide clarity and proven and valuable strategies to help, assist with accountability to tame and quiet the people pleaser within.
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